This post is part of a series in which I consider the benefits of mediation.
For many of us, freedom is a sacred concept. We yearn for it, strive for it, even fight for it. During election season, we consider the freedoms we wish to preserve and vote accordingly. On national holidays, such as Memorial Day, Juneteenth, and Independence Day, we celebrate freedom.
Freedom is also an important part of mediation, which is why mediation is often the right choice for managing the conflict that arises from a divorce and for reaching a settlement agreement. We may feel drawn to the authority of the courtroom and the hope that judges, lawyers, and various experts will help us set things straight. But we must ask ourselves: Do we want to create our own agreements for reconfiguring our families and lives, or will we let an impersonal system decide our future?
Not only are we free to choose to mediate, but we are also free to pick the mediator, provide feedback to the mediator, and decide how to make the best use of advisers such as attorneys, accountants, and psychotherapists. In mediation, we are asked to exercise our freedom - to say what we believe and to negotiate agreements that truly work for us. Here, we can address emotions, as well as past mistakes. Here, we can explore solutions without attorneys telling us what we should or should not say. Here, we can complete the divorce on our own timeline, usually moving faster than we would in an adversarial legal process.
Whatever the challenges of negotiating with a soon-to-be-former spouse, we may find that, under the guidance of an expert mediator, we can free ourselves to make necessary changes and a better future.
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